Courtroom Etiquette

From Saturday’s Austin American-Statesman:

U.S. District Judge Sam Sparks has a "frequently asked questions" page on the Internet for lawyers who will soon find themselves in his court and need to know what to expect. Most of the 61 questions cover routine procedural matters, but Sparks has been known to put a little bite into his manner, and here’s an example from his FAQ:

"How should attorneys advise the court when a criminal case requires an evidentiary sentencing hearing?"

Answer: "The Court may not be brilliant, but is not a dumbbell and can figure out when an evidentiary hearing is necessary."

Here’s another: "When does the court find that sanctions are appropriate?"

Answer: "The Internet has insufficient space to answer this question."

And the last question: "Any pet peeves?"

Answer: "Of course not."

Last minute Mother’s Day gift

No further explanation needed. Happy mother’s day out there. Buy HERE.

More mother’s day advice.

Need another reason to call mom on Sunday?

Lawyer Paul Brennan says "The bottom line is that if you are not
calling your mother every week then your inheritance is at risk".

In view of the money at stake, lawyers may increasingly suggest to their
clients to consider if their adult children are financially
responsible. A very worrying prospect for many adult children who were
banking on their inheritance. See the attached "One Minute Law: Message
to Mothers" video clip to find out the type of advice that mothers may
be getting from their lawyers…

Some parents decide that their children have got too much already and
may leave the money to a charity. Paul Brennan continues, "Adult
children seem to be able to accept if the money goes to the blond
across the road from the nursing home but some parents will leave their
money to say a donkey sanctuary which can be very upsetting for the
adult children." More HERE.

Mother’s Day: Mom rats out dirty rotten lawyer (who happens to be her son.)

The Republican reports that a mother turned her own son into authorities. Yes, he was a lawyer.

ORLEANS - A disbarred lawyer was found guilty yesterday of fraud and
ordered by a judge to pay former client Suzanne D’Amour $2.8 million. …
Birchall was arrested in Orleans on April 17 after his mother called police…

Hm, guess she won’t be getting a present on Sunday.

Take as much time as you need…

The Fantastico Blog blog stumbled upon this from The Writing Edge, a bar exam review course:

Actual graders of the California Bar Exam are required to write their
own perfect answers to the question that they will be grading. They are
encouraged to do library research and to spend as long as needed to
include all the issues and reasoning.

As long as they need. Library research. Hm, sounds so civilized and relaxed, doesn’t it? Perhaps we should ship them some chamomile tea and shortbread cookies to round out the experience. The Writing Edge is linked HERE.

Next time Benji gets pulled over by the cops, we know who he’s dialing from his cell phone…

Your pet needs a lawyer. Who are you gonna call?

"For starters, you can call Amy Breyer, a Chicago-based attorney who is
purported to be Illinois’ only animal law expert. Recognizing the lack
of legal protections for pets, Breyer has spent the past six years
dedicated to raising awareness about practices she perceives as unjust
to animals and their humans companions." MEDILL REPORTS.

Former Gov. Pataki’s eldest daughter passes bar exam

Emily Pataki, the eldest daughter of former
Gov. George Pataki, has passed the New York state bar exam on her
second attempt. Congrats, Emily! Source: NEWSDAY

$49 Million Class Action Settlement Reached on Behalf of BAR/BRI Bar Review Course Students

LOS ANGELES, May 8 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ –
Individuals who purchased a BAR/BRI bar review course in the U.S.,
between August 1, 1997 and July 31, 2006, have until September 17, 2007
to make a claim in a $49 million settlement of a class action against
BAR/BRI and Kaplan, Inc. The case, Rodriguez v. West Publishing Corp.,
Case No. CV-05-3222 R(MCx), is pending in the United States District
Court for the Central District of California. PR NEWSWIRE